Wheelchaired people are the best trolls ever.

To me, Wheelchaired people are a race. They have their own organizations dedicated to standing up for their kind, and accept their disability as a set thing. They roam the streets, pumping their little arms, as they run over the feet of children, cause people to drop all their belongings, and make the Government's life a living hell with their constant bitching about how the world doesn't have enough ramps strung all over the place for them to roll their wheels across.

Yes, Wheelchaired people are assholes. I absolutely loathe when one decides to get on the bus, despite the fact that they're sitting in a chair with wheels. Every time a Wheelchaired person boards the same bus I'm on, I lose five precious minutes of my time that I could have spent masturbating. Or doing work. Work is good too. Of course, people would try to counter back with, Hey, give them a break, their arms are really tired! Maybe they shouldn't have been such huge failures at life, to the point where they can't afford a wheelchair with a motor.



While they are massive assholes, Wheelchaired people have one major redeeming quality; they are some of the best trolls ever. Just think about it. They could roll their wheelchairs down the middle of 5th avenue, and no one would say anything to them, all because they're handicapped. Once someone shatters your legs, you're pretty much given a license to get away with whatever you want. Feel the desire to knock a little kid into traffic? With a wheelchair, you can do it and face no consequences. Want to assassinate George Lucas? No one would ever suspect the Stephen Hawking look alike was carrying a .44.

Unfortunately for the Wheelchaired people, the Government has been in the know about their dastardly plans since the first American got his legs flattened by a steam roller. So, to counter their mischief and trickery, the Government has been attempting to make the completely world uninhabitable to people with wheels. Take this subway map for example:




It's clear the government wants handicapped people gone, what with only making a quarter of these subway stops accessible to them. They're attempting to quell the rage of our seated friends, as they spray graffiti on the sides of walls, and etch penises into the windows of trains.The government fat cats would love nothing more than to silence them, making it painfully obvious what must be done; make the world entirely wheelchair accessible. If enough people wrote in and showed concern for these guys, the world would be their oyster to innocently torment.

Once we give the Wheelchaired, as well as the wide array of handicapped people, all the access they could ever want, the people will cringe, and grovel in fear, wondering why they ever decided to help thoust with metal circles for feet. So write into the Government, further anger them, and convince them to give the Wheelchaired total leeway into terrorizing our planet. Because there can never be enough cripple orgies in the middle of train tracks.